Mind-Raping News from Sir Andy

Last night, I treated myself to the US premiere of ANY DREAM WILL DO on BBC-America, the British Competitive Reality Show designed to cast a lucky actor as Joseph in the West End production of JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT. It was extremely long, and there were a lot of awful teeth I had to look at in the process, but the highlight of the show was that whenever Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber made an appearance, like when he pulled up and parked his car, they would play the theme to PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. The one that goes like this.

DAH! Dah-dah-dah-dah-DAH! Dah-dah-dah-dah-DAH! Here, press play on this YouTube video if you still don't know how it goes.



No, not that one! This one.



Anyway, that was really great. Because his entrances were often completely anticlimactic and inauspicious--he'll be walking down a musty hallway, holding sheet music, or opening the door of a cafeteria, and they hit the organ music hard. Sir Andy has got a permanent Cheshire grin on his old lady face as of late, because he's a posh old English gent, and that's how they age.



Then, my friend Scott Brown told me about a PHANTOM sequel that Andy's working on and I was like "WHAT?" and "SERIOUSLY?" and he was like "Yes," and then he sent me this link to prove it. Apparently, the sequel takes place in Manhattan, and I don't know if the Phantom has mole people roommates, but I'll go ahead and say yes he does, for the sake of clarity and confidence.

Between this and the new catchphrase from last night's A.D.W.D., "You're going to Joseph School!" I am beside myself with ALW-themed riches. My goblet runneth over.

Finally, here is a sequence I was certain I'd dreamt from the Donny Osmond-helmed JOSEPH film from '99, featuring Joan Collins wearing a fez and pasties over a flesh-colored unitard. Watch this at your own peril, because it's very important, but it also makes FORBIDDEN ZONE look like THE LITTLE MERMAID, and around 3:02 something sexually confusing happens that is both upsetting and legendary.

It's ALW's specialty.